stability

Stability is something that's been on my mind a lot lately. It's been popping up all over the place...in my reading, conversation, and contemplation. Of course, stability is a main tenet of Benedict's Rule of Life. Until fairly recently, I would not have described myself as "stable". In fact, I'm realizing that for most of my adult life, I've been a gyrovague. Benedict'se Rule refers to a gyrovague in this way - "...there are the monks called gyrovagues, who spend their entire lives drifting from region to region, staying as guests for three or four days in different monasteries. Always on the move, they never settle down, and are slaves to their own wills and gross appetites."
I've always felt like there was greener grass to be had...better homes...cooler cars...bigger...better...MORE! I was convinced that if I could just get to "that place" or "that situation", I'd feel right. Or at peace. Or happy.
I recently ran across a post I had contributed to an online relocation forum almost exactly a year ago. I wrote about how I didn't want to keep up with the Jones' anymore. I didn't want satisfaction in life to equal me waking up each day and walking into the living room to admire a big flat-screen tv. I wrote about how I wanted to wake up each day and look out over snow-capped peaks somewhere that was still wild. Still free. I wrote that I didn't want to have any more regrets.
I never did make that big move to that magical place where life would always be easy and where there was never a chance of a bad day. But it wasn't the geographic location that needed to change...it was me. And now, every day as I walk outside, I can see the mountains surrounding the place where I live. I get to watch their personalities change throughout the seasons. For the first time in my life, I feel like I'm not trying to steer a ship with a broken rudder. I feel like I have been put here.
I'm also beginning to understand how stability takes it's cues from humility which cultivates compassion which...
Well, I hope you get the picture. Peace.