here

These last few months have been ones of transition. Maybe that's why I haven't written much here in that time. I've watched the heat of summer fade to a seemingly short autumn and then roll into this as-yet snowless winter. I'm falling into the rhythms of my work. I was worried that I might become disillusioned by seeing the machine at work...by being "backstage at the show" and seeing the errors and beaurocracy and humanity. But it has been almost the opposite. Real people have real emotions and real shortcomings and, well, reality isn't always a "reality show" where beautiful people live perfectly and cutely flawed lives for the entertainment of others. It's funny, this chain of events that's led to me sitting here typing right now. A sizeable move, making friends, finding community, feeling life out here, living life out here. Here, I feel like I've made one of the best friends of my life...a true brother. Here, I feel like I'm finally becoming a husband and dad. Here I feel like I truly, finally, have a heart...I can really feel it beating now. Here also, I've seen people get real with me. Here, I've been confronted, chastised, humbled, asked to apologize...and then ignored. Here I gave a coat to Robert because he needed warmth. Here I've discovered I love to serve folks who deserve to be served with love. Here I've discerned, been sobered, and have woken to God's hand in artistry on the early morning skies over the mountains.