lent & the passion

Here we are in the time of Lent. To me, I think this should be a time of reflection and quiet and thanksgiving and awe. I am part way through re-watching the movie, The Passion of the Christ. When the movie came out in 2004, my Mom was nearing the end of her life and living with one of my sisters in Florida. Mom was not a movie-goer at all. Not even really a movie-watcher. My sister and brother-in-law took her to see this in the theater, though. Since my Dad's passing in 2001, my Mom's health had steadily gone downhill. I don't think that the doctors ever really found anything particularly "wrong" with her, medically. I think that she was literally dying of a combination of a broken heart and her body just being so tired. She was dying of old age and sadness over the loss of her beloved best friend. I think she had also suffered some small strokes, which left her unable to communicate clearly. Her words were very slurred and she was often out of breath when trying to speak. I imagine that must have been really tough for a previously fairly outspoken lady and an English teacher. When the movie was over, after she had witnessed the scenes of extreme pain and finally death, my Mom commented to my sister and brother-in-law that "He really loved us...". If she was never able to communicate anything but that sentiment, that was enough. It was what she and my Dad tought us our whole lives. They also lived what they taught.
I'm looking forward to June, when I will be making my first retreat, with the Lay Cistercians, to the Abbey of Gethsemani in Kentucky. I had thought of trying to get some time with the Abbot or one of the monks...hopefully to pose a question that's been on my mind a little. My question was "how could the suffering and death of one man erase the sins and wrongs of everyone who ever lived?" As I watched a scene in the movie of Jesus' mother Mary watching Jesus bear the horrific lashings at the hands of the Roman soldiers, I couldn't help but imagine what it would be like to watch your child go through that right in front of you. I imagined how I would feel if I were to have to watch my son take that sort of punishment. I imagined what it would be like to stand helplessly by as a soldier asked my daughter to deny her God in order to live...or to claim Him and lose her life.
I'm thinking, now, that maybe I don't need that question answered. I think that even one of those lashes was likely more brutal than any sort of self-punishment one could do to try to alleviate personal guilt over sin or wrongdoing.
He really did love us.